Last week I sat in a meeting, the first held remotely for this group. It had the requisite “I can’t hear yous” and “Can you speak louders?” along with “Can you (un)mute your mic?” I was so irritated, as I am often on calls, and couldn’t fathom how so many people couldn’t figure this out! I was irritated. THEN. The last straw happened! The underwire on my bra broke and dug into the soft tissue under my ribs.
What’s a girl to do? Whip that sucker off, jam it in a file drawer, draw your sweater around you and feel better. Then—go on vacation/staycation, forgetting about the bra in the drawer.
What does this have to do with positivity? Or anything? As the world has constricted, me and my free-swinging boobs have felt a bit freer. We’re moving better and thinking more clearly. You may ask, why haven’t you even looked at another bra? Well COVID-19 has decided I’m staying inside, where I have spent time with the family watching Disney movies and laughing with my two favorite people. Braless. We’ve been cooking and cleaning—without a titsling holding me back. I’ve completed tasks AND done NOTHING. Because being bra-less reminds me I have some options. One of which is to not be busy. Not to be TOO busy.
My free swinging reminds me that I don’t need to take myself too seriously … something I have a tendency to do. That I can’t save the world, something my profession tends to make us think we can do. A reminder that my “helper” status is supposed to extend to myself as well… and usually I’m decent at this. But I had begun to push harder, trying to make up for a time when the Universe said “sit your butt down.” So I did. On my couch, in my dining room, with my arms around my kid or husband. Sitting down with a pen and paper to write silly things. With my phone as I’ve sent silly reminders and random poems and quotes to my family.
I have three days before I have to be re-bound, literally and figuratively. But, right now, this crisis (that’s what it is, and a tragic one at that) is giving me freedom. My head is more together and my stress is decreased. We’re laughing because we can. We’re connecting because we want to. We’re sharing because it feels right. And, I feel the growth that’s needed in myself moving towards some unidentified goal. It’ll show up when it’s time. What I know is that being braless for a week is an opportunity to take care of myself, to spend time with family, and to have no obligations to attend to. Selfish? No. Everything in this braless house is just as it needs to be. And, I’ll be ready to be back fighting the good fight next when I head back to work.
—Ursuline Bankhead
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